What do I believe?

If you listen to NPR, you have probably heard an occasional segment called "This I Believe." There's a web site you can visit to contribute an essay (or read the ones already contributed), and occasionally they have someone well-known read theirs on the radio to invite people to visit the site. Whenever I hear one of these, my reaction is always the same: suppose I were going to write one of these--what subject would I focus on? What *do* I believe?

Our Bible study readings last week were the stories of the crucifixion. During our discussion, one member brought up the later reaction of Thomas the doubter. Another member said she didn't believe that Jesus really appeared in physical form to the disciples, that he could be touched--she thought that was a metaphor. This person has said on numerous occasions that she thinks this or that story part is metaphorical and didn't really happen, and there are major elements of the Old Testament that she waves off because they don't fit her idea of who God is, so this should not have come as a big surprise. And yet it left me completely slack-jawed, and I was preoccupied by it for a couple days afterward.

My first thought was "what *does* she believe?" Or, if she doesn't believe Jesus came back to life, why is she bothering to be a Christian--what's the point? (She is a very sweet person and I would guess a lifelong Christian. She's certainly a Bible study veteran.) Who is God if his promotional material is full of outrageous stories that aren't true, mere snake oil to get us hooked, and the truth seems mundane by comparison?

My second thought was that maybe she has a lot more faith than I, if she doesn't believe the miracles really happened and yet she is a believer anyway. A more mature sort of faith, one could argue. (I'm not saying I buy that argument, I'm just saying it was my second thought.)

In yesterday's post I talked a little bit about our recent change of churches. One reason I had become restless at our old church was that it seemed that there were some larger, thornier questions that were off limits. We spent a lot of time reinforcing what we all believed we knew, and didn't spend much time exploring what we didn't know, or what would happen if what we thought we knew wasn't quite right. All I can say just at the moment is that I guess I'm getting what I wished for.